Mule trip day two is in the books, however it dawned on me that I should really be calling this Mule trip preparations day two as the mules don't actually become involved until tomorrow. Now, lest you non believers outs there try to claim no mules are actually ever going to be involved, I have attached a picture of a mule. Not a mule that will be involved mind you, but a mule amongst the many residing and anxiously awaiting being chosen...I'm picturing the aliens from Toy Story as I type this, though I think the mules are looking at us with more of an "oh crap, here we go again" sentiment. Today's activities involved a great deal of shopping. I love to shop, especially for man stuff like hunting and camping gear, but even I will admit that it was A LOT of shopping. Again, using a movie as reference, think of the scene out of Blast From The Past where they repeatedly fill a box van with supplies. While I have yet to buy 100 yacht batteries for this trip, I am now outfitted with head to toe camouflage. That is except for the legally mandated blaze orange item, of which I selected a hat that looks like we're going to Minnesota. I am now also the proud owner of a variety of other items that clearly has my credit card company seeing gold and the card processing people saying what in heavens name does he think he's doing. Fortunately tomorrow is a bit of a late start so we have another shot to pick up any random pieces of gear we might have forgotten. Let's just say Cabella's might open a store in Brentwood after totaling my purchases. I'm pretty sure I could have just bought an elk at this rate, but I've got lots of cool new toys and enough western wear to star in the remake of the Magnificent Seven. I'd like to think that I'd be Chris Pratt but in reality I'm afraid I'm the slightly crazy, fat, hairy guy that mumbles to himself. Oh, I almost forgot...we went to this place, Cal Ranch, that made tractor supply look like a mini mart. They had stuff that I had no idea they made, what it does, or that I needed it....I have some of it now, but will have to go back because the U-Haul was full. We ended the day with a fine meal at the Cracker Barrel. I'm also starting a petition to make Costco bring some of their Utah inventory to California...seriously people, were being treated like second class sophisticants.
Now here is the bad news folks. I had hoped to chronically this adventure on a daily basis. Unfortunately it is highly unlikely that I will have cell service starting tomorrow. Combined with the high likelihood of being killed, this could be my last post. Please look back on my life with found memories of bathroom and bodily function jokes, smart ass comments, and witty retorts. Feel free to share a fart joke in my honor.
I almost forgot, I'm excepting nominations to change my name to something more western sounding and befitting of my newly acquired attire. No mom, not Runs From a Stank or Sits With Outhouse, wrong side of the western equation.
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